The other day I read a wonderful article by Heather Plett called What it Really Means to Hold Space for Someone. Here is a quote from the article:
“What does it mean to ‘hold space’ for someone else?
It means that we are willing to walk alongside another person in whatever journey they’re on without judging them, making them feel inadequate, trying to fix them, or trying to impact the outcome. When we hold space for other people, we open our hearts, offer unconditional support, and let go of judgment and control.”
How does holding space therefore relate to hands-on/off healing?
If we hold space for someone during a hands-on/off healing session, then we need to let go of any outcome. As soon as we have an idea that the pain needs to be gone or that an emotional issue needs to be resolved, then we are holding on to a certain outcome. And therefore, as we are holding on to this certain outcome, we are not holding space. Holding space means letting go of trying to fix our client. As soon as we try to fix our client, our ego is in the way and therefore we are not holding space.
Holding space during a session therefore also means that we need to let go of judging, labeling, and distinguishing because as soon as we are doing that, we are also coming from the ego. And in holding on to a judgment, label, or a distinction, again we are letting go of holding space. Some teachers teach that you need to use a specific symbol to heal an emotional issue, for example. But that too is about judging, labeling, and distinguishing, because as soon as we do this we are trying to impact the outcome.
In reality the precepts of the system of Reiki are instructing us how to hold space:
Do not anger
Do not worry
Be true to your direct experience
Show compassion to yourself and others
If we judge, label, and distinguish during a session, we have moved away from being grateful and showing compassion. Real gratefulness and compassion is beyond judging, labeling and distinguishing what is good or bad, what is hot or cold. Real gratefulness and compassion is only possible when we open our heart/mind and step into the space of our inner great bright light, which is a state of non-duality, a state beyond judging, labeling and distinguishing.
Therefore a real practitioner and teacher will just hold their client in the light. And this is the real essence of holding space. This inner great bright light is the light of the universe which is like space: no beginning and end, and therefore devoid of judging, labeling and distinguishing.
The system of Reiki is first and most of all a spiritual practice so that we can let go of the ego and move beyond judging, labeling and distinguishing, so that we can properly hold space for our clients. Thus to be able to hold space for a client, first we need to rediscover how to hold space for ourselves.
If I do not know how to hold space for myself, how can I hold space for my client? When we know how to hold space for ourselves, then we know what it means to open our hearts, offer unconditional support, and let go of judgment and control. When we know how to hold space for ourselves, we can truly hold space for others when we share a hands-on/off healing session with them, because we are sharing our hearts, our support, and our light.
Based in Holland, Frans Stiene teaches in North America, Europe, UK, Australia and Asia.
Frans is also the author of Reiki Insights, it is the continuation of his previous book The Inner Heart of Reiki, taking your personal practice and understanding of the system of Reiki yet another step deeper.