The Unseen Hold of Resistance

Sundar Kadayam - USA Articles, English 3 Comments

BrickWall Resistance

Whatever we resist, persists in our experience.  

Say I have an expectation of having a great relaxing weekend.  Just a simple, probably well-deserved, little wish, a little expectation.

Come Friday at work, before too long in the day, a big client project lands up demanding weekend work to stay afloat.  i.e. I have to work this weekend, otherwise the deadlines on the project cannot be met.

My initial reaction inside may be one of irritation that something has come up to take away my planned relaxation this weekend.  And in turn, my inner dialogue might be like “this shouldn’t have happened”, “this couldn’t be happening to me again”, …. and soon “this always happens to me”, “I’m doomed to bad luck”… “I have the dumbest luck around”!!!

Blah. Blah. Blah. The inner dialogues continues.  This is accompanied by all sorts of angst, discomfort, pain and such.  

This is ‘resistance’ at play.  

Let’s look at this blow by blow.

That something came up at work demanding my attention and work this weekend … this is a fact.  Check.

That I don’t like this fact is a judgment.  Check.

The inner dialogue took off, and started churning, and grinding, reaching one messy conclusion after another.  i.e. To get stuck in my judgment loop, to resist what happened, is creating suffering for me.  Check.

And the longer I sit with that judgment loop and its aftermath, the thing I resisted continues to linger in my experience, persisting to bother me.  i.e. What I’m resisting is persisting in my experience.  

Hours after knowing about the situation that needs my weekend work, the angst, the anger, the irritation, the self-pity and myriad other elements of my drama are still continuing to play.  i.e. What I’m resisting is persisting in my experience.

It is a fact that I don’t like that I have to work this weekend.  That is okay.  But lingering there, results in me being stuck in a judgment loop and that is pure self-torture.  So much of my wellness, my well being, my energy, my ability to engage life, all of this is compromised when I’m in this really shitty place of being angry and sorry for myself … resisting the fact that I’ve got to work this weekend, and have to let go of my simple desire to have a relaxing weekend.

So, what can I do?

What I can do is concrete action that backs my feeling on it.  

It starts with accepting that this fact that weekend work came up to disturb me, has happened.  To go into this illogical space of telling myself “It shouldn’t have happened” etc. is meaningless, useless, pointless bullshit.  It has happened. Period. Accepting that it has happened is the gateway to possibilities.

Then, I could see that I have a couple of options.  Perhaps I can get away from this weekend work, by refusing to do that thing, or to postpone it or ask an associate to step in and cover for me or some other creative option – and if I succeed, I’m free again to spend my weekend the way I want it.  

If I fail in all my creative attempts to get away from it, then I have no choice but to accept the fact again that I tried many creative and practical ways, but I have to engage in the weekend work – that is what I have to do now.  Resistance at this juncture again is plain pointless and is only a source of suffering.  

What we resist, persists in our experience.  

Experiencing recurrent negative feelings?  Maybe time to check in your innerspace on what you have been knowingly or unknowingly resisting. Sometimes, we have built up resistance to all sorts of things in our innerspace.  Anger issues which we haven’t processed and let go.  People we hold grudges against and haven’t forgiven.  Messy petty things about envy, jealousy, pride.  Even fears and worries.  What might they be, and could we notice that too, and let that go?  And increase our freedom in the process!

Feeling angst in healing sessions, even if it is that subtle feeling of something not being right?  Maybe time to check in your innerspace on what you have been knowingly or unknowingly resisting.  Even in our healing sessions, what sorts of resistance are we building up?  Perhaps we are getting worked up because the patient isn’t experience the energy flow, or is not getting calm like the last session, or perhaps we wanted a certain outcome and it isn’t happening and is driving us insane within.  Can we notice that too, and let that go?  And be present to the recipient’s needs?

Feeling like you are hitting a brick wall and progress in your Reiki practice is stagnant?  Time to check and see how big is the unseen grip of resistance in your practice.  Time to see what you’ve been resisting, that is in the way of your quest to BE Reiki.


Comments 3

  1. Avatar of kathi richards

    This is so spot on with other things that I have been reading. So true. Resistance keeps us from moving forward. All things we should do with joy in our hearts, our open hearts. Blessings

  2. Avatar of Seema sahoo

    Thank you Sundar for this article.I am going through a great resistance in my practice and in bits trying to let go. Not easy at times because we do tend to fall into fear , worry , etc. but the best part is as soon as we stop resisting even for a split second , we see all falling in place or should I say it start flowing and stop becoming stagnant.

    This is exactly what I wanted to read , thank you .

  3. Avatar of Sundar

    Kathi and Seema, Thank you for your kind words.  I notice this in myself a lot too, often in the form of a kind of low level resistance that registers in me as a noticeable energetic contraction in my heart center.  Our Reiki practice can help us gain the awareness we need to notice what we are experiencing in the moment, and I think this noticing, is the beginning of our conscious choice.  And Usui san’s precepts unfailingly point the way to how we can direct that choice.  Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this.

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