by Paula Dunson Reiki teacher and systemic constellations facilitator
We have all heard the phrase, “we can not change the past.” Most spiritual practices focus on this acceptance for the simple reason, that what happened….. happened. Therefore peace comes out of this acceptance, of this letting go and out of this saying “YES” to life just as it is. This acceptance that regardless of our desire to be in control, we very seldomly are, and it is one of the most real and sobering truths…..or is it?
We can all agree we can not alter what has already transcurred. However, we have all experienced that there is not one reality but instead versions of that “reality”. That means that what happened also has as many angles as people involved. If we agree that our perspective at each moment depends on our level of consciousness, it is possible that we constructed a story beyond “the event”.
Let’s take for instance a difficult event in our childhood, let’s say when we were 4 years old. That event was experienced, understood and stored in our bodies and memories through the lens of a four year old. That is probably why when we go back to places from our childhood, they all seem so small to us. Those memories were stored in our brains by a child, with the understanding of a child and for the most part never again looked at in detail nor questioned.
If we can agree that hopefully as humans we are on a trajectory towards continued development, towards ever greater consciousness, then that means that our lenses should become wider through every experience we have. One of the gifts of working with non-dualistic tools, is that even though it is impossible to go back and change an event, we can change how we feel about it by understanding the “bigger picture” through its non-dualistic lens. With a lot of humility and courage, we get to stand in the shoes of everyone involved, and in doing so, we gain a wider perspective where healing can begin to take place.
This is the reason why we never talk about “forgiveness”, as that is a dualistic vision, one where there is “right” and wrong”. Instead time after time, we see how healing arises from looking at what happened, without judgement. We do so with compassion for ourselves and others as we get an understanding that we are less “free” than we would like to believe. When we are able to look with eyes wide open, with respect for those who came before us, only then can we choose to leave behind that which holds us back, going towards our life with renewed strength.
How do we achieve such a feat? Meditation can give us a glimpse into non-duality, anything that bypasses the brain can give us a glimpse into a world without judgement. That is where peace is found. It is a decision, we have to want it. In order to choose that peace, we need to compassionately look at our story but then be willing to let go of it. It may seem counter intuitive, who would not want peace? But many of us have built our whole personalities around what happened to us, at least from our perspective. To let it go takes a lot of courage, and we normally do not get there until we are tired of suffering.
Nobody can force us to surrender our story, and nobody can do the work for us, the letting go has to be our decision. Yet this surrender promises, in an instant, to lighten the burden we have been carrying. We do not “think” our way into non-duality, we need to find a way to bypass our egos (our personalities/our minds) and go straight to our consciousness, to our hearts. That is where our TRUE BRIGHT LIGHT has always been, that place where we all are interconnected, where there is no right nor wrong, and where all we are is…. LOVE.
